If you're in to pain and agony (Agony)
If you love the great indoors
Welcome to the Good Ship Misery
The misery's all yours

Everyday begins with misery (Misery)
Breakfast in a rusty cup
Then we all get dull and miserable
And then we all throw up

The boots have got the place so hot
That to your spot you've got the rock and roll

There's never sun!
The rats have run!
Does anyone remember fun?
No! No! No! No!
Just thought I'd ask!

If you're thinking this could never be (Think again!)
If you're thinking it's the Ritz (Fat chance!)
Sorry, but the Good Ship Misery is a reality
Hubie, baby, this is the pits!

You sit and think and pray you'll sink
Your muscles shrink, you start to stink
And when they cough that slimy slop
And drop a glop of some on top
It's woo!

Everyday's a total tragedy (Tragedy)
Then the days begin to blow
Getting bored aboard the misery
Is a redundancy
Is everybody miserable?
Now you're talkin'
Yes, sir!